Berlin, April 1, 2013 — iGamingCRM, the leading blog for retention experts in the online gambling industry, is to be purchased by the mysterious Thomas to provide “the final solution to that continuing series of insulting posts.”
Speaking on behalf of iGamingCRM, Shahar Attias, said negotiations went quickly. “When we asked him what the blog was worth to him, he sort of kissed his right pinky finger and then said, ‘One million U.S. dollars.’ We told him that we live by the motto that the customer is always right, and as loyalty experts, we readily agreed to his offer.” Attias is CEO of the blog’s parent company, Hybrid Interaction Ltd.
** If you haven’t understood so far that this is our April Fools hoax, I guess you know who the fool is…
Thomas, who often describes himself as “the Napoleon of gaming,” entered the field with little background in the industry. But he long asserted that “when it comes to CRM, you can’t beat the proven track record of a taxi driver — except perhaps with the track record of a DJ, and I have been both.” Through a series of undisclosed business maneuvers (during which he remained fully dressed, according to his PR person) Thomas managed to gain a reputation with certain industry leaders and became rich quite fast, using all sorts of offshore banking tactics (in which, again, as his PR person insisted to highlight – no clothing articles were lost. At all).
When asked about future plans for the blog, Thomas’s assistant and PR person, Herr. Bigglesworth, said they would like to ensure that it helps kids at risk. “Thomas was quite alarmed by the Chairman clip, published in the 100th Post. He tried this stunt several times himself and can tell you that wearing a chair over your head does NOT give one wall-piercing superpowers. This is the type of dangerous message that we need to correct.”
Shahar Attias said he is more than happy to go along with the new strategy. “We will continue to operate the blog as before, with no immediate changes to our weekly posts and ‘creative’ approach. But that being said, we recognize that we now have a new Boss.”