Ah … if I had had a million dollars for every time I was asked this question since beginning this blog, I would easily be a millionaire by now (that is, if I wasn’t spending so much money on high-end booze). The short answer is that every company has a Thomas in it. He’s the guy who has a high-ranking position but is never around when a decision has to be made (ANY decision, really), provides enigmatic answers to questions, can’t commit to anything beyond his own bonus, and does absolutely nothing to assist your KPIs – apart from leaving early :)

There is a real Thomas who possesses all of these characteristics.

But if I identified him, he’d probably go running to his Mommy crying and complaining. And since Thomas’s Mommy is sick and tired of her FUBAR son asking her to protect him from everyone who thinks he’s a dweeb, I’ll refrain out of pity for the poor woman.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the Thomas in your organization is either your line manager or someone ranked highly enough to disrupt your Player Development strategies. So, Mr. Retention Hotshot, what are you going to do about Thomas?

Basically, you’re going to turn the bureaucracy that supports Thomas against him. You’ll use that fancy computer of yours to bombard Thomas with tons of meaningless questions and requests for clarifications on best practices. Your goal here is to become such a pest that he decides it’s in his interest to avoid ever having to deal with you again. You’ll want to retain your exchanges with him and store them in a folder you frequently access so they can be readily attained in a time of need. (Just ensure not to wrongly attach those special videos you usually keep in that “frequently accessed folder” of yours – in real life, people don’t actually put that in their mouths…)

Would that be enough? Who knows. In most cases, surprisingly enough, the answer is positive. All Thomas wants is to go back home to that his dreadful wife (indeed, the Gods of House Advantage have already punished him, I agree) and be back in the office tomorrow just in time to once again do nothing all day. So over time, he will surely find ways to avoid any “work-generating” functionary such as yourself. If you are lucky enough, he might even start working from a pretend remote office to further avoid being associated with any bad decisions.

Life is not always fair, and as a CRM wiz you see this every day from the other side. In some cases the NGR works against you. So even if you manage to push Thomas out of your way, he may still receive promotions and recognition for his krow (opposite of work…) – which he clearly doesn’t deserve. Do you care? You shouldn’t. His wife has been eagerly waiting for that pay raise in order to buy him that new luxurious leash. In this highly moral industry, he is just another idiot.

Want to bitch a bit more about your managers, yet in a classy way? Post any question you want down below, or send it to us and we will ensure to submit for discussion by the 2012 Viewpoint Panel during the iGaming Super Show in Dublin next month.